I have suffered from depression for as long as I can remember.
My earliest childhood memories are tainted with the ominous
presence of my illness despite growing up in a very loving home
with two kinds and nurturing parents. After a divorce in my
early thirties, I found myself unable to cope with the feelings
of sadness that had permeated my existence and often left me
unable to get out of bed. Of course, these feelings had
intensified as a result of my divorce, but even well before I
knew that something wasn't quite right. I went to see a
psychologist and my doctor, both of whom asked me when my
symptoms started. I explained that I was fairly certain they
started the day I was born, which both told me was entirely
possible. Since that time, I have tried a variety of
medications. From SSRI's to MAO inhibitors, I have tried so many
medications that I sometimes felt like a guinea pig. I finally
found a medication that worked for me and produced very few
noticeable side effects. I am now enjoying life more than I ever
have and can honestly say that I feel like I never thought I
would or even could.
Enjoying my life now is somewhat bittersweet as I look back over
all the years that I spent in depression without even knowing
that it wasn't natural. I knew something was different simply
from watching the behavior of others and comparing it to myself,
but I always considered it to be my personality or "just the way
I am". I want to encourage others who experience extended bouts
of sadness to get more information about depression. There are
several resources available on the web, and even your primary
care physician can be of great assistance in helping you to
determine if you suffer from depression. He or she may recommend
that you speak to a specialist.
Had I known that my problem was correctable, I would have spent
many more years enjoying my life instead of wondering why
everyone else was enjoying theirs. Depression is treatable, and
you too can enjoy a happy, productive life.
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